"Love sometimes wants to do us a great favor: hold us upside down and shake all the nonsense out."

Every loss that matters deserves a time to be remembered.

It doesn’t matter who it is or what their relationship is to you, honoring their life or their existence is a way to honor them, yourself, your family and what you value. I would be honored to help plan a simple service that gives you time to remember, to grieve, to talk and share, and to express sorrow and hope about your child. 

Adult children and their parents often have different views – face it, we all have different views of God or Being or Universe or however you describe what you do believe in. What matters is spending the time remembering, honoring, using your gifts to express your feelings, no matter how complex they may be. I welcome your input to write the poems or prayers, to share art or photos or music or everything to express yourselves and to communicate with your mother and where she is in her faith journey. Creating the space for the effort is significant, and it doesn’t matter if it is a day or month or years after the actual passing. Email me so we can set up a Zoom call to discuss what you want to accomplish. 

Thank you on behalf of all people who love you for planning ahead! Asking our grieving friends and family to plan such an event is a burden when they don’t know what you want or don’t want. I didn’t know how to discuss this issue with my aging dad so I started planning mine and brought my half baked ideas to him and asked him what he wanted. It was a great experience for us because he had it all planned in is head down to the canapes he wanted served at the wake! All I had to do was take notes, but no one had ever had the courage to ask him.

Yes, I can help you choose the music, prayers, service leaders, location, reception, flowers, gifts in lieu of flowers – whatever you want. We can do it over Zoom on an hourly basis and I will type it up, email it to you to make changes or tinker with, and you’ll have a template to be followed when the time comes. 

Funerals are usually more formal events, often at a place or worship, and overseen by specific religious leaders within that faith tradition. It doesn’t demand that there be a casket or specific music or specific prayers, but each religious tradition usually has a template to be followed, within which there are a few choices.

A memorial service is usually ecumenical or spiritual rather than following a specific religion. It might be at a funeral home, assisted living center, outside in a park or in a hall in your town. There might be prayers or music considered ‘religious’ like Amazing Grace, but there might also be a more modern twist on music.

I can help you plan either one, and will research your faith tradition to help you plan it in your religious location of choice, and I can also help you plan something more secular. What you want is what matters, and I want to get it planned with you, written down for you, and sent to you (and whoever else you want to include) so you have a copy. 

There are so many fantastic ideas we can have fun planning, including special surprises for your ‘guests’ to enjoy, as the event unwraps. Bring it all on and we will plan your bash the way you want it to honor those you love. We can include up to 3 other people on the planning so they bring their best ideas, and still keep some surprises along the way.

My job is to help you think about what you truly want, what you definitely do NOT want, and to help you spend time putting in a place where it will be available when the time comes. 

I really value leading these kinds of services because they do matter and they can be hard to plan and talk about and then execute. I will work with your Reunion Committee and appointed staff member to make it as special as possible. Location, music, the reading of the names of the deceased and flowers can add to the seriousness and value of the event, and I will be glad to be there to help run down the details, manage the printing of the service bulletin, and preside over the service implementation. 

What you want to do to honor your dad and your family is ok – however you want to define that. 

We can say prayers or not; there can be music, nor not; there can be silence or poetry or individual remembrances or not.

You create what you want and I will help you achieve it in a meaningful, dignified manner.

Yes, co-creating a committal service or a memorial service at the site where your loved one is already buried is a meaningful way to remember your beloved. I can offer you options to consider to personalize the service to be unique. Planning this service can be cathartic and healing, as can be the committal itself. 

Your decisions will drive the content, the length, the location, the time of day and the entire service. I will help provide structure, options and personalization so the choices reflect you, your family, and the one being remembered.

The fee is $200 + transportation and any expenses occurred on your behalf. This fee includes a 20-30 minute service and one hour of planning by Zoom or in person.  For more detailed arrangements and assistance planning a more elaborate service, the fee is $150/ hour.